I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
