He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
