i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
