I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the day after is always just damage control
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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