I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
