ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
