So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
