pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
