I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
