margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
