i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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