I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
