You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
operation harelip BJ is a go
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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