Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
