just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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