awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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