I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Randomize
