yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
