Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize