It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
