Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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