so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
birth control should be required to get into college
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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