..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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