Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
