Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
