I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
