I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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