he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
