Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
