do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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