dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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