If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
