so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
