My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
