My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
