I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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