We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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