I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
