sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize