Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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