Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
