if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
