turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
