I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
