If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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