I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
