if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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