I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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