So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
sarcasm needs its own font
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
