he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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