she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
