Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
