Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
