I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
