You can't motorboat a personality
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
