Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
