i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
