it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
