Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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