That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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