The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
