It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You left your phone here
Wait...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
