Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
