Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
