Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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